Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sin to Listen to Jackson Browne?

It occurred to me the other day as I found “The Pretender” CD in my car’s console that it would feel good to settle down into its melancholy spirit as I was going down the road (“lookin’down the road, I don’t know where I been”), because it would well match my mood of the last few weeks (“Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder where the years have gone. They have all passed under sleep’s dark and silent gate”). Several months into a project manager role for which I am very grateful yet simultaneously not very satisfied by I seem to be having mid-life crisis issues hitting me at the same time as my ACL rehab (“Oh God, this is some shape I’m in”). So besides being very depressed about not running and missing Boston again this year because of screwing up my knee I can’t seem to escape some of these feelings I am having that are telling me that I am a very disappointing underachiever (“who started out so young and strong only to surrender”).

Unfortunately, these feelings seem to be at odds with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Ironically, I felt the Lord gave me this verse to reflect on just a couple of weeks before I tore up my knee! Although old Jackson Browne sometimes does help me get in touch with some of my darker feelings that I might otherwise be suppressing, the downside of too big a dose of Mr. Browne is that it can lead me quickly down a path of wallowing. As I have been thinking about this little fact the last couple of days while, mind you, enjoying “The Pretender” cover to cover a few times, I came across a verse in my Bible this morning as I have been starting my way through Mark. Jesus said, “Take care what you listen to.”

I think maybe I will put away “The Pretender” for a while and focus on other messages.

“Are you there? Say a prayer for the pretender.”

“Take my hand and lead me to the hole in your garden wall and pull me through.”

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